Get our best content

~max once a week~

The artsy, anti-Republican case for microbangs Micro bangs are a bit wrong, but that is part of why they're interesting and frightening to the bad guys.

VICE writes that bangs proper have emerged as an aesthetic identity and personality unto itself. HuffPo muses on the bangs’ “complicated gender politics.” Microbangs takes all of that baggage, literally doesn’t give a shit about what you think about it, and goes even further.

Well, the style goes under many names: micro bangs, baby bangs, micro fringe. There may be discrepancies about the best name, but something that we can all agree on is that micro bangs are a divisive hairstyle. There are those who are obsessed with them and there are those who do not get them all at all — even fear them. If you fall under the latter category, it may be time to reconsider your microbang stance.

Because micro bangs are like the “ugly” shoe of the hair world. They’re a bit wrong, but that is part of their appeal. They’re like pairing your white fashion sneakers with a fancy dress. It’s not perfect and you know it is a bit off, but that transgression is part of what makes it so interesting — and frightening to Republicans.

Baby bangs are also practical. The two biggest complaints we have about our bangs is that they are in our eyes or we are always having to go to the salon to get them trimmed. With micro bangs, you get the look of bangs without the eye irritation. Because they are cut shorter, you can go longer between haircuts.

There are also a huge variety of baby fringe looks. People often assume that micro bangs is one type of look but they are lots of different variations. You can play around with length, thickness and finish. You could try a thick fringe just above your brows.

You could go super short and have a style close to your hairline. You could go for short wispy bangs or a hard edge. You could also try an uneven cut and mix a patch of baby bangs with some longer layers. You could even try a style with a part.

There are lots of celebs who have tried the look. Rooney Mara made a strong case for micro bangs during her Girl With the Dragon Tattoo period. Katy Perry is a fan of baby bangs. Beyonce’s #beyngs may not have been her most popular look, but she did give the style a try. Audrey Hepburn rocked micro bangs. When you look at the runways at Fashion Month, there is usually one or two models rocking a micro fringe. Then there are the shows that feature micro bangs as the hair look.

The worst thing that can happen if you get micro bangs is that you just have to put up with them for a few weeks until they grow into a regular fringe or grow long enough to clip them back. It’s not like you’re chopping off all your hair, although that is also a daring look that unnerves the bad guys.

Beauty is all about experimenting, so give micro bangs a try. They might just become your new signature hairstyle.

And you’ll have the relief of knowing any guys who might approach you won’t be Rethuglicans.

Sorry, Afrunauts! While 85% of you are wonderful people, the other 25% were far too frequently brigades and troll farms. Their abusive comments have traumatized our moderators, and so we can't allow comments until we have built an ethical way to address the troll problem. If you feel the calling and you have familiarized yourself with what is and isn't free speech, you can still email us your scribbles. If your feedback is excellent, we may manually add it!
PS. The A Black Woman Is Speaking mug is a standing invitation to sit down, shut up, and engage in the wisdom shared by Black women. Lord knows the world needs it right now.

62 thoughts on “<span class="entry-title-primary">The artsy, anti-Republican case for microbangs</span> <span class="entry-subtitle">Micro bangs are a bit wrong, but that is part of why they're interesting and frightening to the bad guys.</span>”

  1. Basically a female mullet. It means you’re to be ignored because you’re trashy. Why not just shave your head, teach those right wingers how ugly and skippable you can be I guess?

  2. They have a point. Just look at friars and monks, they cut their hair in a certain way to prove a point.
    Women do the same by covering their hair, to rebel against man’s lustful nature.

    I guess this Moe Howard bowl cut look has the same effect. It’s “just fuck my shit up” for women. Either way this stupid article is right. Hairstyles do in fact align you with a certain group.. or tribe. This is nothing new.
    The mohawk, it’s been appropriated left and right but it used to be a trademark of the real american peoples.
    Shaving the top of your head in japan signified the samurai class for men.. it made them look ridiculous no doubt.. again with a “just fuck my shit up” style.
    Africans pierce the bottom of their lip and put a disk in it, for absolutely no practical reason other than fucking their shit up..

    The list goes on and on.

    This “microbang” thing, there’s validity to it. That’s all I’m saying.

  3. You don’t need to self-mutilate in order to let people know your politics. We already have your social media posts of you with your vaccine cards and teh Ukrainian flag emojis in your Twitter name to let us know you’re insane. Pretty much every groomer fatured on @libsoftiktok looks like this anyway.Also, the name of this publication is literally lulz.

  4. All I see is a Bettie Page wanna-be. Recycling decades-old fashion for political import.

    So let’s see if I have this right… The folks the lefties claim live in a Post-War ideology are going to be rendered apoplectic by a post-war coif. It sounds as if you commies are being played. By the goblins in your heads.

    What’s next? Bell bottoms?

  5. Yes, make yourself ugly on the outside to match the inside. Way easier to identify people I don’t want to engage with.

  6. Conservative, Republican, and…I literally could care less how your hair is styled. *shrug*

    On a side note, thanks for letting us live rent-free in your head. 🙂

  7. Women love this penis-head haircut. Every mother of a boy I’ve known has at some point in their son’s life given them this messed up penis-head haircut. There’s some weird connection with him having come out of her vagina and shaping his head like a dick and her liking dicks going into her vagina etc. More importantly it messes little boys up, people aren’t meant to have penis heads. Some prominent examples would be Adam Lanza or Dylan Roof.

  8. My highest congratulations to the author of this piece on the clicks received and replies generated. Top KEK trolling!

    Long, long ago, this splendidly absurd article would have been described as “a Put-on”.

    The only thing more absurd than hairstyles as a supposedly serious political statement is the overblown reaction to the proposition.

    For the record, as a paleoconservative, a woman’s bad hairstyle can only cause me equal amounts of pity for her and mirth at her expense.

    What really offends me however is “her” penis.

  9. Sorry to break it to you…

    Conservatives are not frightened, scared, or offended.

    We will shrug our shoulders and say, “Good on you.” if it will boost your confidence. In all honesty, you do you.

    Just keep one thing in mind. If you have trouble finding success and making a good salary, it is probably the hair. It doesn’t look professional and thus will make it hard for anyone to take seriously. When you take yourself seriously and respect yourself, then we see a confident and serious professional.

  10. I luv this so much. Another tool in the toolbox to really screw with these traitors’ heads. My hair is too short to do it right now but I’ll keep it in mind.

    And rightsky traitors can fuck off from this page!

    • Chinese bangs (aka Chyna), so commie chick….so looking like chinese slave girls is cool…. i’m sure it’s a turn on for Hunter Biden…. Next trend will be contact lenses or glasses to make their eyes crossed…

    • You are without a doubt the single most disgusting individual I have ever seen in my life. Do you think God looks at you with pride? You have been corrupted and are lost, one day you’ll realize that your degenerate ways have damned you forever. At that point it’ll be too late and you’ll realize the devil is not fun and quirky. Ofc you’re a jew so you don’t believe in hell but who knows with the rate yall have a nice day at you will find out soon enough.

    • Message from the Right Wing:

      When we are not laughing at you we actually do pity you.

      Sorry you did not have a good relationship with your father.

      Sorry you will end up wasting your entire life trying to disgusie maladaptive coping strategies due to childhood trauma as a viable lifestyle.

      We will never agree with you. We will teach our children the same. Your kind don’t have enough children to last more than a generation. Not much of a threat.

      So funny but also so very sad.

  11. You know what would really anger those evil Republicans?

    A lobotomy!

    Who’s with me? Get lobotomized to smash a conservative!

  12. Making yourself as unappealing on the outside as you are on the inside to own the repubs?
    Why are shitlibs so fuking stupid?

  13. – ring wingers are crying about haircuts
    – left wingers are “supporting the nazi”s while liberating their country from invaders
    When did the fashies decide to become trans snowflakes? They’re everything they ever accused someone else of being.

  14. I’m neither Republican nor American, but I’m pretty sure people across the political spectrum will perceive the pictured haircuts as unappealing and perhaps outright trashy, especially on an average-looking woman. There’s nothing inherently political about a haircut. However, those on the political left, who want to believe that everything is beautiful, will simply not give their honest opinion. Those on the political right have no trouble calling it out for how they see it.

  15. Maybe it’s not the hairstyle that causes us rage, but the fact that those who get the hairstyle thinking it causes us rage are the generally, and quite literally, mentally challenged. Their deficiencies in the logic department are what get us angry, not their hair. You’re confusing causation and correlation, sweetie.

  16. First of all, no one is triggered by this hair style. Secondly, choosing absolutely gorgeous women to make your argument was silly. What is lost on leftists is we don’t care how people look or dress. what bothers us is when we are told by a 600 lb idiot with holes in their head large enough to drive a truck through and the most unbecoming outfit and hair that we need to accept their beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, not what you scream at me.

  17. I’ve rejected women on tinder because of these bangs alone, it screams intolerable angry radical leftist feminist and always accompanies lots of piercings and tats and horrible cancel campaigns. It just makes me shake with rage.

    • LOL this is catagorized as “hair” / “social justice”.
      How deeply you feel, how bravely you fight!

      Infantile narcissism, thy name is woman.

      Cool haircut on the pretty ones, btw – but on most it’s just owning the ugliness inside and out

  18. I hope this picks up in 2024 and causes a mass meltdown of the trumpers just as we head into the election. You always want the enemy at its most irrational.

  19. You definitely have to already look good to wear this hairstyle, but it’s still going to bring your attractiveness level down. But is fashion becoming political now too or always has been?

    • Trendy fashion has been subversive at least since the industrial revolution. It started at least with bloomers getting women into things other than full length dresses and biking around. It’s been downhill from there.

      Fashion for women since has constantly been pushing “HOW SKANKY CAN WE GO??” as a form of subversion in order to undermine the virtues of pious women in stable monogamous relationships. Full dresses to bloomers to showing ankles to thigh to miniskirt pussy hanging out to short shorts to ass grabbing, rectum squeezing yoga pants WITH ass contrast coloration and texture for increase ass/pussy definition and optional slut slits.

    • Women have always used their hair as a political statement, from Marie-Antoinette wigs to chelsea haircuts. Men did it as well, but it’s more prominent and remembered when a woman does it as it generally causes some kind of moral outrage (so yes, it works). You’re a big man so you can probably guess why hair was/is often the target by yourself.

  20. My bf made me grow mine out before he let me meet his family, they’re Trumpists. It didn’t work out lol. Legit don’t understand why hair is so scary for republicans.


Say your thing

Get our best content

~max once a week~