Sometimes when you’re in a relationship, it can be difficult to look past all the sweet text messages and 4 AM trips to Taco Bell to focus on the ugly truth: Your coupledom is doomed. Laced amidst the texts you’ve grown to hold dear are passive aggressive landmines, waiting to go off with the release of a simple “k.”
Unsure whether you two will go the distance or end up screaming at each other in a public place? We’ve rounded up the top 13 relationship red flags that mean you should definitely pack your things and join Tinder.
#1. You’re not having sex.
That old sparkle and their cunnilingus skills have been gone for a while now. You two no longer have the physical attraction you once did. That’s OK if you think it’s something can be fixed, but if your partner shows no signs of wanting to bump ‘n grind with you, it could be time to move on.
#2. You’re constantly having sex.
You would literally put anything in your mouth to not have to continue talking about their great grandma’s pet squirrel. Sex used to be fun between you and bae, but now it’s the only thing you do together. When was the last time you went out for dinner or…talked?
#3. They’re mad all the time.
Beware of the significant other who is constantly in a pissy mood. These things happen gradually; they express annoyance at you for something small, like always putting your phone on speaker, and a few months later they’re mad about everything (it’s not your fault garbage day is on Monday).
Chances are, nights out always end in one of you walking out in a dramatic huff. End this train wreck of a relationship now and enjoy some peace and quiet.
#4. You find them annoying.
It used to be cute when your partner would bite their lip before asking you a question. Now? It makes you want to run through a wall, Hulk style. If small things like the sound of your boo chopping vegetables makes you want to scratch your own eyes out, it might be time to break up.
#5. You’re thinking about someone else.
Fantasizing about other people is completely normal. But if you find your mind wandering to the same sexy Starbucks barista again and again (he always asks if you’d like an extra pump of syrup), something has gone wrong.
Evaluate if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just randy. If you said the latter, get thee home and lube up for the return of your significant other.
#6. They’re shady when it comes to their phone.
You should never look through your partner’s phone. Just don’t do it! But if bae is constantly sneaking off to text or make calls in private, then they could have some ‘splainin’ to do. Everyone has the right to privacy, but if you two are really close, there shouldn’t be any conversations happening that need to be kept secret.
#7. You fight in front of your friends and family.
You have become the couple that screams at each other in front of your loved ones. Together you’ve made your friends uncomfortable in the car, at music festivals, in your home, and at your favorite bar. There is no occasion that is sacred enough to stop your constant bickering.
#8. You’ve broken up more times than Ross and Rachel.
The on-again-off-again nature of your relationship has more peaks and valleys than the Grand Canyon. You’re addicted to the roller coaster ride that is your relationship, but if you don’t get off soon, you might lose your head.
#9. You just don’t want to be alone.
You used to think that you were drawn to your lover’s charming qualities. The truth? You just hate being by yourself. It looks like it’s time to start embracing you by kicking your partner to the curb.
#10. They can’t make plans.
Major red flag alert: Your boo thang can’t be counted on to make or keep dates. If they’re always backing out on your Friday night rendezvous or bailing because they have dinner with a friend who’s in from out of town…you could be getting played by a master manipulator.
#11. You want them to change.
You’ve noticed your loved one is wearing less and going out more, so you’ve asked them to reprioritize. They’re not open to hearing your grievances and are going to keep doing as they damn well please. If you two can’t accept each other as you are than it could be time to say sayonara.
#12. They’re “never wrong.”
Your fights are epic displays of will power because neither of you is ever willing to admit fault. Sometimes people are wrong, and sometimes they’re right, but you need to be with someone who knows when to hold the punches and just say sorry.
#13. They hate your friends.
A word of advice: If your significant other hates your friends…it’s never going to work out. Delete their number and run like hell if they can’t tolerate the ones you love. You’re better off without them. You and your besties can discuss your train wreck of a relationship once the break up deed has been done.
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