Poor Paris. As an Instagram model, it’s the one city men take me to most often apart from Dubai, and the course of my many French romps stand witness to the city’s slide into dirt and crime and irrelevance.
As an intellectual exercise, I decided to come up with ways you should still live there. So if you’re thinking about moving to or staying in Paris, but you’re not sure, here a 10 reasons why you should:
You don’t have to feel bad about doing absolutely nothing on Sundays, because everything is closed.
You don’t have to feel bad about taking 6 weeks off a year when you work; you’re entitled to it.
Passing your driver’s test is ridiculously hard, so once you get your license, nobody can tell you you don’t know how to drive.
Even if you make a little mistake every now and then.
You can eat bread at every meal, because everybody does.
You don’t have to feel guilty about taking a day off of work to go to the bi-annual sales.
As a matter of fact, if you don’t, you’re a Loser with a Capital ‘L’.
Being in a bad mood in the subway (or anywhere else) is the norm.
You don’t have to smile…nobody does.
As a matter of fact, pushing people around to get in and out of the train is practically a way of life.
Drinking at lunch is ok and expected.
Want a strike about something? Go for it.
In fact, 50% of the population does at one point in their life (I haven’t actually checked out that number, but it does seem that way). Here’s how to avoid a strike in France:
- Don’t take the subway.
- Do take the bus – in towns where buses are run by private companies (like where I live).
- Learn to ride a bike.
- Don’t travel by plane.
- Don’t put your kid in school, or if you have to at least don’t sign your child up for lunch at the cafeteria.
- Get a back-up plan for random days when school is cancelled the day of.
- Don’t move to France if you can’t stand strikes.
You can speak French with a bad accent and get away with it.
The French think they are the best at everything and existentially grapple with the waning of the French language, so they’ll really appreciate someone trying.
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