Bid adieu to the land where old white men still think they know what’s best for our bodies. Paris, darling, is the city where feminism isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a way of life.
And it’s not just a political statement. The City of Love ( hon hon hon 😉 ) has been attracting people from all over the world for centuries with its stunning architecture, culinary expertise, and general joie de vivre. Paris has something to offer everyone.
So if you’re tired of the right-wing chaos, divisiveness, and general craziness of America, here are 10 reasons to start packing your bags.
You don’t have to feel bad about doing absolutely nothing on Sundays, because everything is closed
While some essential services like pharmacies and bakeries may remain open, the French have a slower pace of life. Sunday is seen as a day to unwind, connect with loved ones, and enjoy a reprieve from the demands of daily life.
You don’t have to feel bad about taking 6 weeks off a year when you work; you’re entitled to it
The French prioritize the well-being of their workforce, firmly believing that a rested and rejuvenated employee is more productive in the long run. Employees are not only encouraged, but legally entitled, to take substantial time off each year.
Passing your driver’s test is ridiculously hard, so once you get your license, nobody can tell you you don’t know how to drive
Even if you make a little mistake every now and then.
You can eat bread at every meal, because everybody does
The aroma of freshly baked baguettes and artisanal loaves perfumes the air each morning, and the day only gets breadier from there on. Bask… in bread.
You don’t have to feel guilty about taking a day off of work to go to the bi-annual sales
As a matter of fact, if you don’t, you’re a Loser with a Capital ‘L’.
Being in a bad mood in the subway (or anywhere else) is the norm
You don’t have to smile…nobody does. This is cool.
As a matter of fact, pushing people around to get in and out of the train is practically a way of life
Drinking at lunch is OK and expected
The French treat all of their their meals as a sacred time for relaxation, camaraderie, and indulgence. A well-paired wine not only complements the flavors of the cuisine but also elevates the entire experience to an art form. When in Rome Paris, get buzzed on the daily.
Want a strike about something? Go for it
In fact, 50% of the population does at one point in their life (I haven’t actually checked out that number, but it does seem that way). And here’s how to avoid a strike in France:
- Don’t take the subway.
- Do take the bus – in towns where buses are run by private companies (like where I live).
- Learn to ride a bike.
- Don’t travel by plane.
- Don’t put your kid in school, or if you have to at least don’t sign your child up for lunch at the cafeteria.
- Get a back-up plan for random days when school is cancelled the day of.
- Don’t move to France if you can’t stand strikes.
LOL
You can speak French with a bad accent and get away with it
The French think they are the best at everything and existentially grapple with the waning of the French language, so they’ll really appreciate someone trying.
And finally…
You have an endless selection of exotic African kings
It’s not like in America where there’s only two types of Black guys (Black Black and White Black). These guys come from all over the dark continent and they bring their exciting cultures with them.
Who knows? Maybe your next great fling is a proud son of the Maasai people, whose eyes, deep pools of ebony, reflect the vastness of the savannah, telling tales of ancient wisdom passed down through generations.
But there's more. Check out these bussin stories:
- Parenting 100 strangest celebrity baby names The richer the parents are, the less likely you are to be teased. Just ask Tallulah, Rumer and Scout.
- Parenting The life-changing magic of *not* tidying up My constant cleaning had slowly taken over my life. Letting things go (at least a little) has relieved a burden I didn't even realize was there.
- It Happened To Me Parenting My friends all had babies—and aborted me In the little time we do get together, do I need to hear about the color and smell of everyone’s baby’s poop!?
Honestly screw France, never going back.
France is WORST COUNTRY and Paris is WORST CITY.