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Sorry, but refusing to breastfeed makes you a TERRIBLE mother Giving birth doesn't make you a mother. Accepting the responsibilities and obligations of motherhood is what makes you a mother.

Kitty Dimbleby is whining today over at the Daily Mail, that the “Breastapo” doesn’t like the fact that she “chose” not to breastfeed her seven week old daughter, Chloe. She writes, “I feel unspoken criticism from ‘friends’, health workers and even total strangers — all because I have chosen not to breastfeed my child.”

Let’s see. You have chosen to bring a child into the world, which comes with a moral and legal responsibility to do the very best you can to provide for that child. A seven week old baby has very few needs. She needs to be held, to be warm, to be dry and to be FED. Your body provides the most perfect nutrition any baby can have, and getting that nutrition by suckling is a key part of establishing the bond that will encourage YOU to protect her, and encourage HER to feel safe, loved, secure and happy.

It’s a no-brainer, Kitty.

Fine, Chloe had a rough start and needed some formula to help her gain some weight at the beginning of her life outside the womb. No sane person thinks it’s better for a baby to STARVE than receive formula. But formula is a supplement. A response to a crisis. It’s for women who CAN’T breastfeed, or babies who NEED emergency calories, while Mom establishes her supply.

Kitty decided she would rather forgo the whole messy job and now that baby Chloe is on a full chemical diet, she writes, “I do not feel drained, put-upon and tied by the obligation of being the sole source of my baby’s nutrients.”

And there we have it, don’t we? Kitty is refusing to breastfeed because, gosh, she might end up PUT-UPON, and oh, Kitty, if you think feeding your child is being “put-upon”, you are in for one hell of a surprise. Obligation? Yes, feeding your child is one of your most basic obligations, and there are so many more coming your way. Guess who will be hiring a nanny to meet those obligations and then moaning over wine with her girlfriends that motherhood is a cheat? Like this harridan? Who actually HAS children and then wrote a book about how she regrets having them. I’ll bet her kids feel GREAT about that.

What a horrible thing to do. What a horrible woman.

Let’s end with a moment of compassion for women who, for various reasons, CANNOT breastfeed their children. Some are undergoing chemotherapy, some cannot produce enough milk and have to supplement with formula, some have had mastectomies or other breast surgeries, some are born without milk ducts.

All of them are completely heartbroken and gutted by the fact they have to give their babies formula. A round of tears for women who KNOW what their responsibilities are, who are WILLING to take them on, and simply cannot.

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6 thoughts on “<span class="entry-title-primary">Sorry, but refusing to breastfeed makes you a TERRIBLE mother</span> <span class="entry-subtitle">Giving birth doesn't make you a mother. Accepting the responsibilities and obligations of motherhood is what makes you a mother.</span>”

  1. I breastfed my children because im too lazy to wash and sterilize bottles, and i dont want to get out of bed to get the bottle ready while the baby is already with me. This doesnt make me superior to anyone who bottle feeds, if anything what theyre doing is more work.

    And everyone who brags about their kids being smart or healthy BECAUSE of breastfeeding, LOL. The kids would have been smart and healthy regardless and some breastfed babies are just as stupid and unhealthy with food allergies as formula fed.

    Author of the article is an idiot. So many women wish they could get dad to help out around the house and you’re putting that down. And “alpha male”? Wtf. I thought this site was a “progressive” site

  2. Out of a general bit of curiosity… If you are able to catch my posts… What do you think of when parents share the feeding responsibilities? Like when the mother and father alternate at feeding the child.

  3. In today’s culture formula feeding is seen as a normal thing to do. Women have been bought up around it and it’s what they know. Calling women bad Mothers and calling them unkind names isn’t going to positively encourage more women to breastfeed. In fact it’s just going to make Mothers feel attacked. I find your whole blog depressing and juvenile. You are not clever or refreshing, you are just mean. Whilst I agree with some of the points you try to make you go about it in the worst possible way. Being a ‘judgybitch’ isn’t something to be proud of. That attitude might charm some people who get their kicks off of sneering at others too but it won’t get your point across or change the world. As for breastfeeding, more women nowadays are breastfeeding in comparison to the 80s and 90s. This is because of positive encouragement. Enjoy your hate, it will only get you so far.

  4. Your thoughts on child rearing are throwback and rare today. I don’t always agree 100% but moreso than not. On this issue I agree fully and totally. Dude I work with just had a kid, SAHM wife didn’t feel like breastfeeding so formula right away. WTF?! They are unhealthy and fat so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Our kids co-slept as infants, wife breastfed until they were a year (and when she went back to work she pumped because it was a high priority for us to have them have good nutrition), and they are turning out to be great, smart kids with no food allergies or health issues. Can’t imagine not wanting to put your kids at a healthy baseline “Just ’cause”. Dumbasses.

  5. A-fucking-men. I have two, both of whom I breastfed, despite the oldest having spent his first five weeks in the NICU, being fed through a tube, with me having to pump. He self-weaned at eighteen months, when I got pregnant with his little sister. She is now almost two, and is in the process of weaning, but she still nurses to go to sleep for naptimes and at night.

    I have family who can’t breastfeed for whatever reason. I have friends whose milk quit right about the three month mark. I feel sorry for them, because it breaks their hearts.

    Those who won’t even try don’t even deserve enough of my attention for me to feel contempt for them.

    And if they think it’s easier to bottle feed, well, that just demonstrates the level of their intelligence. They have to sterilize the bottle, use sterilized water to make the formula, heat the formula to the right temperature, then clean it up afterward, and pray there’s not too much iron in it and that their baby doesn’t get constipated.

    Breastfeeding is *much* simpler: it’s always right there on tap, ready to go.


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