If you’ve spent more than two minutes online, you’ve certainly seen this kind of abuse play out. A cishet male ally takes a stand against misogyny or white supremacy in the replies to a piece of online content, and suddenly an army of sunglass wearing people show up to call them a “cuck” or a “simp.” One after another, the emasculating insults rain down on a male whose only crime was believing that women have rights.

Throwing around the cuck slur is normalized to the point of the word becoming a certainty the longer a reply chain gets — Godwin’s law 2.0. But often neglected by feminist thinkers is the word’s potent chilling effect on women’s safety, as “cucks” often try to prove they’re not such a thing by resorting to toxic masculinity of their own.
Male online interactions never sat well with me for many (obvious) reasons, but one of them is a little fact about the cuck slur that really needs to finally get some publicity: being a cuck or a simp is not, in ANY way, shape, or form a bad thing!
From online context, I interpret "cuck" to mean "brilliant" or "genius." The best people I know get called cucks. https://t.co/LveyoonTZm
— David French (@DavidAFrench) August 21, 2016
Yes. Being a SIMPING CUCKOLD is not emasculating or something to be ashamed of. Ensuring that a woman is financially safe (simping) is noble, and “allowing” her to feel pleasure, even if by another man (cucking), is something that really should be considered entry level feminism. Men don’t own women’s bodies, and being granted the privilege of being in a relationship with a woman does not come with the deed to her sexuality.
This isn’t the 13th century, folks.
As if being a feminist isn’t reason enough, here are 5 more great reasons to respect the cucks and simps of the world. We appreciate you!
#1. Cucks are an important ally for reproductive rights
With reproductive rights for birthing bodies being under an all-out fascist attack, it’s never been more urgent for women to reclaim their rights not to bear children. This might be cliche by now, but it really needs to be signal boosted again. The alternative is that we end up in a Margaret Atwood-esque dystopia where human birthing bodies are used like heifer on cattle farms (which are problematic in their own way).
But as our readers are probably aware, it’s disgusting to suggest women should have all the responsibility of birth control. For example, it’s ableist to assume that every woman would have the physical capabilities to take a birth control pill every morning. And are we really going to let one forgetful day turn into an 18-year commitment with a crotch goblin?
This is where cucks are an important ally — they often wear a chastity cage. By being committed to being chaste, that’s one less man that can impregnate a woman. This is actually empowering for men because it elevates them from a potential predator to one of the most important warriors in the fight for the reproductive rights of birthing bodies.
#2. Brains over brawn: cucks are smarter
Did you know that cucks are actually smarter than non-cucks?
Yep, it’s been scientifically proven, according to the Daily Beast, which covered the relationship between two academics, Paul and Sally.

“The high point of cuckolding is when your wife says she wants the other guy all the time and never wants you. Sally’s body makes it very clear that this is true. It hurts me worse to know this, so it’s better to know.” Worst/best of all is watching Sally bond with the other man not only physically but emotionally—when, as Paul puts it, she’s “masturbating him with her mind.”
It makes sense. After all, at least a cuck would know how to find the clitoris. And as Paul indicated, despite the fact that the cuck receives no physical pleasure, he still derives a sort of mental masturbation or intellectual pleasure from watching his female life partner with another man. If you can’t understand it, maybe you’re not smart enough?
#3. Reducing and defanging toxic masculinity
There is nothing that screams small dick energy more than toxic masculinity. You know the type, those guys who are obsessed with fitness, reading, and World War II. And of course, the misogyny and complete neglect for the feelings of women. Men like that are looked down upon by pretty much everyone, and rightfully so, because they’re toxic.
But men can avoid toxic masculinity by being a cuck. This is simple math: one more cuck means one less man practicing toxic masculinity, which equals more happy female lives. Being a cuck also shrinks toxic masculinity in another big (or shall we say, small) way — by physically shrinking the size of the penis. Scientific studies have shown that wearing a chastity device can shrink the size of a man’s manhood, and that’s a good thing.
#4. Couples made up of a woman and a male cuck have healthier relationships
Science is awesome, and also cuck positive! A study by David Ley, Justin Lehmiller, and the writer Dan Savage says that acting on cuckolding fantasies can be a largely positive experience for many couples, and hardly a sign of weakness. Allowing your sex fetishes to come out in the bedroom makes for a more open relationship where you aren’t afraid to share and co-experience.
#5. The peace and comfort of knowing your place
The cold, hard truth is that in these trying times, nothing in life is guaranteed. If there’s one thing that Putin’s brutal genocide of aggression against the innocent Ukranians have taught us, it’s that life is fragile. And because of that, we need more men like Zelensky in this world and less men like Putin. If you choose to be a cuck, you’re dedicating yourself to a better vision of the world: a world where there’s less aggression and less uncertainty. More democracy and less fascism.
Cuckolds live a happy and peaceful life, unlike Vladmir Putin, because they don’t need to tear other people down to have a place in this world. Cucks have a safe and secure spot in this world, right under their female life partner and their female life partner’s boyfriend. That sort of security is something that even the genocide of the sovereign and legitimate state of Ukraine can’t accomplish.
#6. Increasing diversity
The tragic death of George Floyd in 2020 taught the world an important lesson: the best and brightest Black men are under constant attack by a justice system that seeks to further powerslam the levers of oppression and perpetuate the depraved institution of white supremacy. Or to put it in simpler terms, whiteness is violence.
As long as white people, and particularly old white males, continue to hold power over people of color and birthing bodies, we will continue suffer from this oppression and violence. None of this is up for debate.
So, what to do? Obviously, we’re not going to use violence against white males and play into fantasies like the great replacement theory. There are much more empathetic ways to eliminate toxic whiteness — without firing a single bullet.
We’ll just stop letting white men breed, and it’s all going to happen on a fully voluntary basis. It’s as simple as that. Women can take the personal choice not to have sex with white males, and white male allies can make the personal choice to lock themselves in chastity belts and dedicate themselves to an exciting cuckolding lifestyle.
All of this is about practicing your human rights to do your part to end oppression and increase the level of empathy in the world. And if you’re a man and you choose to become an activist on behalf of the oppressed, that means you’re on the side of good, which is the ultimate form of empowerment.
So do the right thing. Be better — for all of us, together. 💕
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Serious question: Is this a satire site?
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Kike
I’m going to reward hubby with this article tonight if he eat the pie good.